If an Atheist's Cancer Goes into Remission, Who Gets Credit? When Nuns Die of Disease, Who's To Blame?[Hint: Answer Rhymes with 'No One']

Possible Miracle Tied to Pope John Paul II

from The Associated Press

ROME - A nun's apparently inexplicable recovery in France from Parkinson's disease, the same affliction suffered by Pope John Paul II, looks very promising as the miracle needed to beatify the late pontiff, a Polish cleric said.

But Vatican officials cautioned Monday that any decision about the healing would take time. Late last year, John Paul's longtime private secretary told reporters that officials were focusing on the case of the nun in France.

The comments Sunday by another Polish clergyman, Monsignor Slawomir Oder, about Parkinson's were the first public indication of what disease the woman had.

A miracle is required for beatification, the last formal step before a person is considered for sainthood. A second miracle is needed for someone to be declared a saint.

"I don't want to speak yet about a miracle because it is something too important," Oder, the postulator, or official champion for the cause, said on an Italian state radio program.

But the nun, Oder said, "has been cured of an illness, an illness that was so visible even in the last part of John Paul II's life."

His words were a clear reference to Parkinson's disease, a degenerative condition which plagued the Polish pontiff in his last years, making it difficult for him to walk, talk, and in the final weeks, even swallow. There is no cure.

Immediately after the 84-year-old pontiff's death on April 2, faithful started clamoring for quick sainthood for John Paul.

Vatican officials at the Congregation for the Causes of Saints declined to comment on the nun's case, but indicated that any ruling on its merits for possible beatification was not imminent because the documentation had not been formally forwarded to them yet by local church officials.

One of the biggest backers of sainthood has been Krakow Archbishop Stanislaw Dziwisz, who served for decades as John Paul's private secretary at the Vatican and in Poland.

In late November, he told reporters there were multiple candidates for miracles but that church officials had decided to focus on the case in France.

In another indication that no decision about a miracle was imminent, other Vatican officials who have been closely following the cause for beatification said the dossier on the nun had not yet been examined by the Holy See's official panel of doctors.

The experts must rule out any natural explanation for the recovery before a miracle can be certified.


Why didn't you say Boy George [Church of the Poison Mind] had certified the miracle from the start? That's good enough for me.

P.S.: Here's someone who claims a skiing trip cured his deafness. Can snowmen even be sainted?

Sounds Fun...Hokey, But Fun, Like Halloween with S'Mores & No Christian Hatred

Pagan Scouts

from Sploid

A scouting group for pagan kids is spreading through North America, but Christians say the nature-worshipping youngsters are only earning a merit badge in Satanism.

Annoyed by the Christianity and conservatism of the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, pagan parents in Seattle started the Spiral Scouts in 1999. Now the group has more than 125 chapters in the United States, Canada and even Switzerland.

There are now seven chapters - called "circles" - in Michigan alone, Detroit's Metro Times reported this month.

Another new circle just began operations in Eugene, Oregon, according to the Register-Guard. That makes three active circles in Oregon.

The little wizards go on camping trips, learn "woodland lore" and wear khaki uniforms topped with a druid-style cloak.

They earn merit badges in the five categories of the Wiccan pentacle: earth, air, fire, water and spirit.

But instead of praying to the Christian god, reciting pledges of allegiance to flags, or banishing atheists and homosexuals, at Spiral Scouts meetings the "kids gather around a coffee table and light candles in solemn tribute to earth, water, fire and air."

The younglings come from "minority faiths" such as Wicca, druidism and various New Age beliefs.

Selling a Church? Now Why Didn't I Think of That?!

Pastor Gets 18 Months for Selling Church

from The Associated Press

MANTECA, Calif. - A pastor accused of selling the town's oldest church pleaded guilty to embezzlement on Monday and agreed to 18 months in prison, court officials said.

Randall Radic, 53, entered his plea as part of a deal in which prosecutors agreed to drop nine other charges.

Radic had preached at First Congregational Church in Ripon for nearly a decade before he sold the church last October for $525,000, allegedly using the money to buy a BMW. He also faked documents that gave him possession of his house, which was owned by the church, then used the property to take out loans, authorities said.

Before the plea deal, Radic had faced up to nine years in prison. Radic remains in San Joaquin County Jail on $750,000 bail.

Satanic Blood Cult Fueled Russian Vampiress

Ukraine Vampire Caught Bleeding Kids Again

from Sploid

The notorious vampire woman of Odessa has been arrested again...and this time, cops say she's working for a powerful Satanic cult called "Red Dragon."

Twenty-nine-year-old Diana Semenuha was first arrested in March and charged with giving illegal drugs to homeless children.

The Black Sea port city has about 200,000 street kids, and many of them are addicted to sniffing glue or anything else to dull their pain and hunger.

Semenuha lured kids to her home and got them drunk on vodka and doped up on glue fumes. Then she used a syringe to steal their blood. The Telegraph reported last year that she "believed that drinking blood could fend off a muscle-wasting condition."

But she was also selling the human blood to the city's many black magicians, as well as conducting her own blood rituals for profit.

The vampire apparently was released from jail because the victims were all street kids who vanished before a court could hear their testimony.

Cops tracked her down from local newspaper ads this month, in which she offered $600 blood rituals under the name "Mr. Krait."

Police chief Victor Balan told the Interfax news agency she was arrested again on Saturday.

"As it turned out during the investigation, there is an organization in Odessa called 'Red Dragon,'" Interfax reported today. "Its members performed black magic rituals using human blood. The leader of this Satanic group has been identified. He collected all the money rank-and-file Satanists made out of black magic."

Police say the children survived the blood-pumping because the vampire dumped them back on the streets when they weakened. Semenuha kept her victims strapped down while she drained their blood.

"Detectives found seven drugged children strapped to beds and benches, and a large, black knife and silver goblet engraved with satanic symbols," the Telegraph reported from Odessa.

"I let them sniff glue, but I paid for it and took a small amount of blood in return," the vampire witch said in her defense. "But there was no violence involved, I also fed them and gave them shelter."

Catholic Death Cult Fueled Grannslaying Serial Killer

Serial Killer Had Death Cult Altar?

from Reuters

MEXICO CITY - A former female wrestler, accused of killing 11 elderly women in the Mexican capital, had an altar to the skeletal, scythe-wielding Santa Muerte, death cult figure in her home, newspapers said on Saturday.

Police searching the home of Juana Barraza, 48, after her arrest this week found a statue of Santa Muerte, or Saint Death, who is popular with thieves and drug smugglers, Reforma newspaper said.

She has confessed to several murders, police said.

Barraza, accused of being the feared "Mataviejitas," or "Little Old Lady Killer," sought by police for years, left offerings for the figure and also had a dead snake preserved in a jar in her home, papers said. Barraza was arrested on Wednesday after she was spotted fleeing the home of an 82-year-old woman who had been strangled with a stethoscope. Police say fingerprints link her to the murders of 10 other old women in the capital since 2000 and say she may have murdered another 30 people, most of them elderly women.

Santa Muerte is a centuries-old pagan cult which has seen a resurgence in interest in recent years and now claims some 2 million faithful in Mexico. Followers range from elite politicians to kidnappers and gangsters.

The Catholic Church frowns on the cult.

Christians Voting To Make Their Bible a Textbook? I Hear the Constitution Is a Good Read, a Lot Less Blood...

Senate Democrats Propose Bible Class for Georgia Schools

from The Associated Press

ATLANTA - Georgia public school students would be allowed to study the Bible under a plan proposed by Democrats in the state Senate.

The bill would authorize the state school board to approve an optional course in grades 9-12 that would teach about the Bible's influence on literature, art, culture and politics. The bill, introduced Jan. 18 by Sen. Tim Golden, chairman of the Senate Democratic caucus, would allow for "nonsectarian, nonreligious academic study" of the Bible and would require it "be taught in an objective and nondevotional manner with no attempt made to indoctrinate students as to either the truth or falsity of the biblical materials."

Republicans, who have a majority in the Senate, said the Democratic bill appears aimed at garnering voter approval in advance of this year's legislative elections.

"I'm concerned about their timing," said Senate Republican Leader Tommie Williams. "If they were really interested in passing a Bible curriculum bill, I proposed one six years ago."

Williams said he introduced another Bible class bill last year, but was assured by the state Department of Education that current law already allows the classes.

Dana Tofig, a spokesman for the state schools superintendent, said local schools can create classes studying the Bible or other religious texts without permission from the state school board or the Legislature. "There is nothing that stops them, except the separation of church and state - you can't be proselytizing," he said.


Biblical Influence on History 101: Where to begin. The Inquisition? The burnings at the stake? The Knights Templar? The massacre of the Crusades? The torture and murder of scientists? The Flat Earth? Slavery? The butchery of heretics and heathens, known now as non-Christians? Salem witch trials? Oppression of minorities and women? Persecution of those deemed sinners? The drowned babies? The blood money that paid for all that gold and art? The pedophilia? The tyranny? The famine and overpopulation? The corruption? The villifications? The wars? Naziism? The Ku Klux Klan? The impalings and beheadings? Do we address the contradictions and errors in the Bible? The incest? A deity that embodies every petty vanity, pride, jealousy, hatred, and ugly sin mortals burn in Hell for? Who is appeased by the smell of burning blood? Really, the ink should be red.

OMG! Most Kids Practice Witchcraft?! That's Shocki-Oh, Wait...False Alarm: It's Just Pew Potato Propaganda

'Hey kids, Sabrina here! You know what's fun? Blood in the name of the Beast! The next time mommy takes a nap, go into the kitchen and get a knife...'

Nation of Witches

from Sploid

A shocking new study finds that 73 percent of American teens are experimenting with the occult.

The results prove what Christian evangelicals have long feared: Today's kids have hardly any interest in stodgy follow-the-rules Christianity because they're too busy communicating with the dead, summoning demons, and casting spells.

Based on nationwide surveys of more than 4,000 kids, Teens and the Supernatural was released this week by the Barna Group, a research firm for fundamentalist Christian churches.

"Teenagers relish experiences and the supernatural world provides fertile ground for their explorations," the Barna Group report says. "In fact, three-quarters of America’s youth have engaged in at least one type of psychic or witchcraft-related activity, beyond mere media exposure or horoscope usage."

Today's kids aren't just fascinated by the supernatural - they're increasingly in direct contact with it.

More than a third of the surveyed teens have communicated with entities using Ouija boards, another third have studied witchcraft rituals, and 25 percent enjoy role-playing games about sorcery and demonology.

Some are even more serious about the occult: 1 in 10 has taken part in a real séance and 1 in 12 has actually cast spells or made magical potions.

The Christian researchers blame the media for this, too:

"Supernatural beings, stories, and themes have invaded America’s entertainment choices - from movies (such as Underworld, The Sixth Sense, The Exorcism of Emily Rose), to television programs (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Ghost Whisperer), to books (Harry Potter, Goosebumps) and video games (Doom, The Darkness)."

But horror and paranormal themes have been just as popular for centuries. From the 15th Century demonic nightmare paintings of Hieronymus Bosch to the luridly reported Salem witch trials of the 1692, the dawn of gothic and sadist novels in the late 1700s to the incredible string of ground-breaking horror art of the 1800s (Frankenstein, Dracula, Edgar Allen Poe, Francesco Goya, the Brothers Grimm, The Hunchback of Notre Dame), supernatural and macabre themes have always wildly popular.

There are many theories why today's kids aren't content to just be entertained by the paranormal.

The Barna Group study blames it on born-again churches ignoring the problem. Unlike skeptics of the paranormal, fundamentalist Christians literally believe in witchcraft, demonology, magic, possession and monsters. But the belief is wrapped in fear and dread; they avoid exposure to the non-Jesus occult world at all costs.

The result, according to the study, is that even "born again" kids are studying pagan mysticism.

Secular researchers say today's teenagers just aren't content to watch or listen to anything without getting involved. Interactive video games, the Internet, iPods, blogs and "fan fiction" have put kids in control of their media, deciding what they'll take from outside sources and what they'll invent for themselves - unlike the "couch potatoes" who watch whatever's on television or the "pew potatoes" who blindly follow the commands of the local preacher.


'Thank you, Derwood, for that delightful story.' No, thank you, Endora, for a tormented childhood of crippling nicknames. Bitch. You know what? They may be on to something. I guess they're not called the religious "right" for nothing. So, yes, burn the witches! Burn them all! Starting with this Satanic bitch!

Holy Shit!

13 Years of Animal Feces Damages Rectory

from The Associated Press

DYER, IN - A Roman Catholic church rectory is undergoing more than $100,000 in renovations because of damage caused by more than 13 years of neglect and accumulated animal waste, the church's pastor said.

The Rev. Terry Steffens said in a letter to parishioners that when he arrived at St. Joseph Church in July, he discovered severe damage to the rectory and has been living at a rectory of a church in nearby Schererville.

The letter said Bishop Dale Melczek advised Steffens to have the rectory fumigated before he moved in.

The person hired to clean the rectory over a six-week period told Steffens he had become sick to his stomach from cleaning one of the rectory's rooms that was heavily saturated with feces from dogs, rabbits, hamsters, and guinea pigs.

The Associated Press left a message seeking comment Wednesday for Steffens at his office. He told The Times of Munster on Tuesday he had been advised not to talk about the situation.

How Many Muslims Does It Kill To Screw in a Lightbulb?

Muslims Angry Over Stampede Humor

from The Associated Press

A Muslim civil liberties group demanded an apology Thursday from the host of a Los Angeles-area radio show for making fun of a stampede that killed hundreds of Muslims during an annual pilgrimage.

The Council on American-Islamic Relations asked for an apology from KFI-AM 640 host Bill Handel, who allegedly made fun of the deaths the same day they happened during a segment he called the "Annual Stampede Report."

A spokeswoman for KFI, which is owned by Clear Channel Communications, did not immediately return a message left Thursday. Handel's producer, Michelle Kube, also did not return calls for comment. Handel had left work for the day and attempts to reach him were unsuccessful.

At least 363 pilgrims were killed and hundreds injured in a stampede January 12 in Mecca, where thousands of people were rushing to carry out a symbolic ritual of stoning the devil.

According to the civil liberties group, Handel imitated the people screaming and then joked that the Muslims at the pilgrimage should use a helicopter to monitor pilgrimage traffic, as is done in Los Angeles with the freeways.

The group quoted Handel as saying: "This is Mahmoud Nolan. Hajj in the Sky. There is an accident...Ali lost his sandal on the on-ramp to the Martin Luther King Jr. freeway."

In March 2004, KFI issued an on-air apology after the group filed a complaint with the Federal Communications Commission following a skit that claimed Muslims have sex with animals, don't bathe, and hate Jews.

"The deaths of hundreds of people engaged in religious observances is no laughing matter," Sabiha Khan, the group's spokeswoman, said in a statement. "KFI needs to distance itself from Mr. Handel's unbelievable insensitivity by issuing a formal apology and a reprimand."

Oh, God, Not Another One!

Pa. Man Signs His Name As 'God'

from The Associated Press

READING, Pa. - One registered Republican won't be able to vote in the next election unless he appears at a Berks County Elections Board to explain the signature on his registration form.

The man is registered as Paul S. Sewell, Elections Director Deborah M. Olivieri said, but his form is signed "God."

County Solicitor Alan S. Miller said Sewell claims his "God" signature is merely a legal mark like the "X" used by people who are illiterate.

Sewell, 40, said he will be happy to explain. As the owner of a bail enforcement agency, he finds fugitives, he said.

"Whenever I go to arrest somebody, they say, 'Oh, God, give me another chance. Oh, God, let me go. I'll turn myself in tomorrow,'" Sewell said.

He said he thinks his designated mark is legal. "PennDOT accepted it on my driver's license. I have a credit card with it," he said. "It shouldn't be a problem."

New & Improved Hinduism!Now with Sweet Candy-Coating To Hide Caste System's Rancid Aftertaste!

Opponents of Hindu Depictions Want To Rewrite Textbook History

from Milpitas Post

Igniting another battle between religion and scholarship, several Hindu organizations have proposed a revision of ancient Indian history in California textbooks. But some, including scholars and Indian groups who object to the revisions, claim the proposals are an attack on historical accuracy, that the changes are not just religious - they are political.

At stake is what 500,000 California sixth-graders will learn about Hinduism as part of the state-mandated curriculum, which covers world religions and the precedent for future U.S. textbooks. The debate flared last November, when the state Board of Education held a public meeting to discuss the revisions, one of the final steps in the state's adoption process which takes place every six years. Madhulika Singh, a Milpitas parent of four and a volunteer with the Hindu Education Foundation, was one of those who raised concerns with the text during the hearing.

She told the committee her 11-year-old son was so embarrassed by what he read that he became ashamed of being Hindu. "My child should not be ashamed because the textbooks are totally different from what we were teaching at home," she explained.

California mandates the study of world religions in its public schools. Ancient India is covered as part of sixth-grade curriculum. But Singh and others worried that the text creates bias against them.

"There are many children, non-Hindu children, who didn't know much about Hinduism or India until they were exposed to it in the sixth grade. When they learn what they read in textbooks they are shocked or hate India and Hinduism," she said. "Before they may have been neutral or ignorant of it; that's better than hating it.."

While several groups, including Jewish and Islamic advocates also requested changes, the majority of the debate came over the Hindu groups' position which has led to ongoing review meetings. The Hindu organizations, The Vedic Foundation and the Hindu Education Foundation, proposed 153 changes, 131 of which were initially accepted by the committee. The changes, which were denounced by scholars and other Indian groups, included rewording "gods" to "God," described women's rights in India as "different" instead of "fewer," and eliminated critical views of the caste system. In one example, the current text read: "The Aryans created a caste system." The proposed revision is: "During Vedic Times, people were divided into different social groups (varnas) based on their capacity to undertake a particular profession."

Anu Mandavilli, an Indian doctoral candidate at the University of Southern California, and activist against the Hindu revisions, called the changes distressing. "The groups involved here are not qualified to write textbooks," she said. "They do not draw lines between myth and history. On their Web site they claim that Hindu civilization started 111.5 trillion years ago. That makes Hinduism billions of years older than the Big Bang." (The assertion has since been pulled from the site.) "It would be ridiculous if it weren't so dangerous," she said.

The committee, advised by Professor Shiva Bajpai, a professor emeritus in the History Department at California State University at Northridge (who was requested by the groups), approved the majority of the decisions. But a group of professors, led by Harvard Professor Michael Witzel, denounced the revisions in a letter to the Board of Education. In his letter, Witzel alleged the proposed changes "would trigger an immediate international scandal...The proposed revisions," he wrote, "are not of a scholarly but of a religious-political nature." Fifty other scholars signed in support.

The board appointed Witzel and two colleagues to a special committee, outraging the Hindu groups who believed Hinduism should be described by Hindus. In January, the board decided that both groups would discuss point by point which changes could be made based on historical facts. In response, one of the Hindu organizations hired legal representation and threatened action.

The issue over textbook revisions is not new. Various efforts for change have sparked controversies between Japan and its neighbors over World War II, in France and its former colonies over the portrayal of imperialism and in the United States over creationism and Darwinism. Witzel said the controversy in California is all too familiar. "It's whitewashing," he said. "It would provide a completely unhistorical view of ancient India. The devil is in the details, but we'd end up with a textbook which is partly sectarian and partly extreme right wing."

One of the most contentious points for the Hindu organizations is over the "Aryan Invasion Theory," the concept that a group of people from Central Asia who called themselves Aryans came to India around 1500 B.C. and that Hinduism grew out of the culture and tradition those people brought with them. Witzel and many scholars support the theory; the Hindu groups do not. The spokespersons for the Vedic Foundation maintain Aryans and Hinduism are indigenous to India and that linguistic and recent DNA findings disprove the theory. Witzel, a professor of Sanskrit for 40 years, disagreed. "The evidence is all off track," he said. "It only proves that people came to India early."

The groups contend, however, the overall representation of their identity is not fair. Janeshwari Devi, director of programs at the Vedic Foundation and who worked on the textbook issue, said the groups compared text explanations of Christianity, Judaism and Islam, which she said were respectfully portrayed. When they reviewed the Hindu sections, she said the texts were "completely racist."

"Our main concern is for the youth of California," she said.

The opposition readily concedes that the texts are less than perfect. But some groups, including traditionally marginalized Indians, feel the revisions are worse than the original text. Dhillai Kumeran, a San Jose parent, said he was "shocked" when he read the changes. "The way they put it was that they were going to remove stereotypes and have better representation. If they asked me I would have said 'great.' But what they are proposing is like writing U.S. history without the conquest of Native Americans... I have seen the (class) discrimination with my own eyes. It is something that is a fact, and still continuing today and is really a tragedy."

Mandavilli agreed, "Not only don't (they) represent all Hindus, they don't represent us," she said, speaking of other Indian cultures represented in the area and what she considers moderate Indians. "They claim to be the marginalized. But in India they are the ones who are doing the marginalizing."

On Dec. 2, with Witzel's panel in place, the Curriculum Commission voted against most of the revisions it had previously accepted. But in light of the controversies, the board has now appointed a third committee to review the decision-making process.

Jesus Christ! Case To Be Dismissed?

See? No lightning.

Italian Judge Mulls Trial for Priest in Christ Case

from AFP

VITERBO, Italy - An Italian magistrate mulled whether a 75-year-old Roman Catholic priest should stand trial for asserting the existence of Christ.

The case was brought by atheist author Luigi Cascioli, who told reporters Friday he was happy the case, first brought in 2002, had come to court.

"Christ never existed, but is an invention of the Church," said Cascioli, accusing the priest, Enrico Righi, of misleading the public by presenting Jesus as an historical figure.

Cascioli, 72, said Righi in his role as parish priest had violated article 661 of the Italian penal code which, under the term "abuse of popular gullibility", sanctions people who mislead others.

Cascioli, an agronomist by training, used the occasion to promote his book The Fable of Christ in interviews with foreign journalists intrigued by the case.

Righi had asserted the historical existence of Christ in a parish newsletter.

Judge Gaetano Mautone adjourned the case after the behind-closed-doors hearing on Friday in which he heard legal argument from lawyers for both men.

That's Not Fair! He Didn't Get a Chance To Even Wound the New One Yet! Dammit!

Would-Be Papal Assassin Ordered Back to Prison in Turkey

from Catholic News Service

The Turkish terrorist who shot and seriously wounded Pope John Paul II was ordered to return to prison, where he was expected to remain for several years.

On Jan. 20, the Turkish Supreme Court overturned a lower court's release of Agca eight days earlier. Agca’s release had prompted widespread criticism in Turkey and around the world.

Agca, 48, was apprehended by police at his home and offered no resistance when he was taken back into custody. As he entered a police station in Istanbul, he shouted in several languages, "I am Messiah. I am not the Son of God, I am Messiah," according to Turkish news reports. Agca has frequently made wild and fanatical claims to the press and to justice officials.

Agca had served 19 years in Italian prisons for shooting the pope in 1981. He was extradited in 2000 to Turkey, where he served five years for the 1979 murder of a liberal Turkish newspaper editor.

In early January, a Turkish court cited new penal laws and the time served in Italy and said Agca could be set free. Prosecutors appealed the decision, and the Supreme Court said there was no legal basis for deducting the time Agca spent in Italian prisons from his sentence in Turkey.

The Wrath of God You!

Fed up with that lame Christian "deity's" recent spate of rather unimagination, pathetic smitings? The "Wrath of God" hasn't exactly been very wrathful or godlike of late. Like giving the elderly Ariel Sharon a stroke he was probably due to have anyway and it didn't even kill him (smites like a Girl Scout!), making witches die peacefully in their sleep like that's a terrible way to go (lame!), and sending Katrina to destroy sinful New Orleans only to inadvertantly destroy innocent Mississippi (nice aim!) - and New Orleans is already drunk, topless, and back open for business! Not exactly Sodom and Gomorrah, are they? And I'm still waiting for Him to smite Dover for voting Creationism out of schools. I hear a stoplight went out down there last week - that was probably it! Impressive! For a loser! Even Zeus still knows how to put on a good show.

Why should this obviously past-his-prime embarrassment have all the fun? Show him (lower case - he's being demoted) how to smite right while testing your divine mettle with these two games. Now you too can smite this way and that, for whatever silly reason you want. Vain? Smite! Insecure? Smite! Jealous? Smite! Smite! SMITE! Just like god! And if you're petty enough, cruel enough, chaotic enough, and ineffective enough, maybe Pat Robertson will start interpreting your motives! (Being gay, I get that already, but not in the good way.)

Do you have what it takes to demand love through fear? To reign with tyranny and incoherence over your world? To make your subjects kill each other over what they think you think? The balls to wipe it off the map - and disinvent "the map" - when it gets boring? Ooh, god just called you a "weenie mortal pussy"! You gonna take that from him? Now he's clucking like a chicken!

Kick.

His.

Ass!


Play God!


Smite the crap out of everything you've created Old Testament-Style in Wrath II!


And then go nuts - just go fucking Joe Pesci nuts! - becoming the Dark Destroyer of prophecy and wiping it all out in Wrath Overkill! (Don't worry, you're God: You can create a new world, maybe ruled by talking plants with wings - and then destroy that, one too!)

Both coming soon to a sidebar near you...