3.23.2006

Tammy Faye Theater Presents:
'Highway to Hell: The Mary Winkler Mystery'


Your Host, Miss Tammy Faye Bakker: MESSNER, Goddammit! How many times do I have to tel-Your Host, Miss Tammy Faye Messner: Helllooooo, viewers! I'm pleased as punch that you've joined us once again for another sordid tale of preacher wives gone bad here on public access Channel 91. You might notice a few changes in our little show. First, our timeslot. Thanks to the success of some godawful show called Manny Pets His Monkey, which sounds like it violates one or two of God's laws, we've been pushed to 2:12am. Oh, I'm looking into that Manny, believe you me. Secondly, as some of our loyal viewers have noticed (I got your letter - bless your heart), we've been off the air since our last two episodes. You might have read in the tabloids that I "stormed off the show" in a "drunken haze" and then "demanded mass firings." All lies! Lies lies lies! A] I do not "storm off shows" - that's for those Shannon Dougherties or whatever the Hell her name is. I'm a lady, thank you - I "make an exit." B] I was not "drunk." Not exactly. And C] I have a new crew! My previous stage manager whose-name-will-not-be-mentioned-in-my-presence has left our little family and took all those unwashed cameramen with him. I wish them well in their future endeavors blah blah blah. Now I have Morty - say hello, Morty ('Howdy') - and a new camera crew that hardly smell at all! And unlike that bastard Jack, Morty has vowed, as God is his witness, to count me down before we go live each show so I'm not caught off-gua-what, Morty? Buddhist?! Who said you could be a Buddhist?! You don't even look Oriental! Oh dear! SOMEONE CHECK ON MY GINGER! I know what you Orientals do with dogs! She could be a stew by now! And who authorized hiring heathens?! Get my agent on the phone! I feel a dramatic exit coming on. Ooh, speaking of exits, that brings us to today's show - ripped from the headlines! The whole country is asking: Where is Mary Winkler? Is she on the lam, gun still smoking, her preacher husband's blood drying in her hair, cackling madly? Or is she captive to the real killers, some devil cult, forced to perform sex acts on strapping young satanic teenage boys with big meaty p-ooh, goodness! Morty, can we turn up the A/C? We may never know the truth about this terrible event, or we may know any minute! So before we do, let's watch today's dramatic reenactment starring Mindy Cohn, who I found rummaging through my trash this morning for empty pop cans, bless her heart, and who, in exchange for me dropping the charges, has agreed to appear in today's episode. Nat's big comeback! So without further ado, Mindy Cohn as Mary Winkler in the Tammy Faye Theater presentation of "Highway to Hell: The Mary Winkler Mystery"!

Tenn. Pastor Found Killed, Family Missing

from The Associated Press

SELMER, Tenn. - A church minister was found shot to death in his parsonage, and authorities were searching for his missing wife and three young daughters Thursday.

"We're just really puzzled," Selmer Police Chief Neal Burks said Thursday. "We're concerned about the safety of the children, also."

Church members went searching for pastor Matthew Winkler late Wednesday when he didn't show up for an evening service at Fourth Street Church of Christ, Burks said. He said they used a key to enter the parsonage and found him dead in a bedroom.

Winkler, 31, had been shot, and his family was gone, Burks said.

The chief declined to say if Winkler's wife was considered a suspect. Investigators also weren't sure if she had the children or if any outsiders were involved in shooting and disappearance, he said.

According to Tennessee Bureau of Investigation spokeswoman Jennifer Johnson, there were no signs of forced entry at the parsonage.

The bureau issued an Amber Alert early Thursday for the couple's daughters, Breanna, 1, Mary Alice, 6, and Patricia, 8. The alert said the girls may be with their mother, Mary Winkler.

Mary Winkler was last seen late Tuesday afternoon picking up the children from school, said Ed Jones, TBI assistant director. Burks said she worked as a substitute teacher at the elementary school.

"They were a nice family," said former Selmer Mayor Jimmy Whittington, who said he worked with the pastor collecting donations for hurricane victims last year. "They just blended in."

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Consider this: People who don't know the family should be aware that Matthew Winkler’s father, Dan Winkler, is a true-to-life "Hail, Fire and Brimstone" fundamentalist preacher from the South. I know because I, along with many other Church members from the Beltline Church of Christ (Decatur, AL) were subjected to his guilt and fear ridden sermons for nearly 10 years. We are talking about a man who has serious, deep-seeded issues with control and power. Subjecting your family to this control and instilling fear in them and demanding they be "Perfect" as Christ was, is bound to backfire on you somewhere down the road (directly or indirectly). I feel sorry for Mary and Matthew’s children now because they will have to endure the same upbringing with Mr. Winkler Sr. I’m sure he’ll dish out the same destructive child rearing tactics he forcefully shoved down the throats of his own family and pass it along to his grandchildren. Does God really find favor with this destructive way of life? Does He smile when Church members go away from sermons feeling worthless and uninspired because the Preacher continually reminds them of how “sinful” they are??? Mary Winkler is the product of a repressed Church of Christ person who has a list of terrible things that happened to her throughout life which would be difficult for anyone to endure and yet, as a preachers wife you have to always remain perfect and have your “frozen smile” on for everyone to observe. It’s still not an excuse to kill someone. The Church at Selmer should be ashamed of itself for publicly announcing they support Mary 100%. You’re doing this because you’re being controlled people- controlled by a bunch of Elders who think they know what’s best for you and who don’t want you to “think” for yourselves. Trust me, no one around the country is saying, “ Wow, look at those wonderful, forgiving, church people in Selmer! My what an example they have set for the world.” It’s quite the opposite. You appear as deeply disturbed people who have forgiven someone who committed a cold-blooded murder without even knowing the facts. Would you have been so forgiving if Matthew had been the one to kill Mary???? I seriously doubt it. God is not watching you with a microscope people. You don’t have to feel like miserable sinners 7 days a week. You can think for yourselves. Let’s hope this destructive cycle of "Fear and Guilt Christianity will soon come to an end. Please pray for those three little girls. They are the ones who are going to suffer the most.

April 28, 2006 11:09 AM  
Blogger Adi said...

Oes Tsetnoc one of the ways in which we can learn seo besides Mengembalikan Jati Diri Bangsa. By participating in the Oes Tsetnoc or Mengembalikan Jati Diri Bangsa we can improve our seo skills. To find more information about Oest Tsetnoc please visit my Oes Tsetnoc pages. And to find more information about Mengembalikan Jati Diri Bangsa please visit my Mengembalikan Jati Diri Bangsa pages. Thank you So much.
Oes Tsetnoc | Semangat Mengembalikan Jati Diri Bangsa

December 01, 2009 7:27 AM  
Blogger Daniela said...

Interesting post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting. I’ll likely be coming back to your blog. Keep up great writing. Find your great Travel News and sing the songs at Free Song Lyric or you can watch the drama at Korea Drama Online one of great korea drama is A Love to Kill if you go to travel to Indonesia learn Learn Indonesia Language first! And find your home cari rumah or make a blog Belajar membuat Blog find your home again rumah dijual and again at jual rumah the point is cari rumah, jual rumah, rumah dijual, download youtube and find blog widget and then if you want buy a new laptop see the Laptop Price List just calm down piccam or you can buy a New Blackberry and then take care your Health & Jewerly good job, very great article Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual Thanks ever so much Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual very useful article Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual Great information Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual I like your blog Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual I will be checking back for any new articles Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual just bookmarked it for later reference Cari Rumah, Jual Rumah, Rumah dijual, free scholarships, Wikilaw, eporchshop, free wallpapers, free gadgets. Thanks for kindly sharing it with us. Very well done indeed

December 13, 2009 10:03 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home