9.21.2005

'She Turned Me into a Newt!'


And POOF! He was a jackass.

The Blair Witch Project

from Sploid

Cherie Blair's weird world of witchcraft has been revealed, and Downing Street is trying desperately to change the subject.

The Times of India reports:

Exactly a fortnight after Cherie Blair wowed Delhi with her apparently India-centric fashion sense and down-to-earth attitude to life in 'the goldfish bowl' of 10, Downing Street as wife of the British Prime Minister, she has newly been outed as a firm believer in witchcraft, Eastern-inspired 'New Age mumbo jumbo' and weird practices involving incantations over her husband's hair locks and nail clippings.

It said Cherie remains deeply attached to a practice borrowed from white witchcraft, which directs her to cast a circle to create "sacred space" in a symbolic act of magic designed to ward off evil.

And in the final revelation of kookie practices afoot at No 10, author Paul Scott says a prime minister in hock to his "New Age" wife, always keeps a grey velvet pouch in his breast pocket. The pouch, which contains a small piece of red ribbon and a piece of rolled-up paper, is a deep, impenetrable secret even to his closest advisers, but Tony cannot operate without it, says Scott.

From today's London Independent:

Mrs. Blair, a human rights lawyer, has long been the subject of claims about her fondness for weird and wonderful treatments, ranging from a Mayan rebirthing ceremony to eating strawberry leaves to cure swollen ankles. But a book published yesterday about the Blairs has taken tales of odd practices inside the prime ministerial household to new extremes.

Such was the eyebrow-raising nature of the claims made in Tony And Cherie, A Special Relationship that Downing Street issued a forthright denial.

The book, written by Paul Scott, a journalist, uses alleged conversations with members of the couple's entourage to paint a picture of Mrs. Blair as ambitious and intelligent but in the thrall of a series of bizarre practices.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Tyler D. said...

"I Guess Those of Us Who Don't Pray to a Male Deity Can Just Go Fuck Our unAmerican Selves"

Yes you sure can.

September 21, 2005 2:41 AM  
Blogger Darren said...

I just googled. Jesus never said "Go fuck yourself." Well, not in print.

That's what I love about Christians. They're usually anything but. I don't think I've ever told someone to go fuck themselves; I'd feel terrible if I did. Funny.

You better hope I'm right about this whole God thing, Tyler. Otherwise, I'll see you in Hell. I'll probably be the one helping you to your feet.

Dibs on the maggots!

September 21, 2005 3:15 AM  

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