The Wrath of God You!

Fed up with that lame Christian "deity's" recent spate of rather unimagination, pathetic smitings? The "Wrath of God" hasn't exactly been very wrathful or godlike of late. Like giving the elderly Ariel Sharon a stroke he was probably due to have anyway and it didn't even kill him (smites like a Girl Scout!), making witches die peacefully in their sleep like that's a terrible way to go (lame!), and sending Katrina to destroy sinful New Orleans only to inadvertantly destroy innocent Mississippi (nice aim!) - and New Orleans is already drunk, topless, and back open for business! Not exactly Sodom and Gomorrah, are they? And I'm still waiting for Him to smite Dover for voting Creationism out of schools. I hear a stoplight went out down there last week - that was probably it! Impressive! For a loser! Even Zeus still knows how to put on a good show.

Why should this obviously past-his-prime embarrassment have all the fun? Show him (lower case - he's being demoted) how to smite right while testing your divine mettle with these two games. Now you too can smite this way and that, for whatever silly reason you want. Vain? Smite! Insecure? Smite! Jealous? Smite! Smite! SMITE! Just like god! And if you're petty enough, cruel enough, chaotic enough, and ineffective enough, maybe Pat Robertson will start interpreting your motives! (Being gay, I get that already, but not in the good way.)

Do you have what it takes to demand love through fear? To reign with tyranny and incoherence over your world? To make your subjects kill each other over what they think you think? The balls to wipe it off the map - and disinvent "the map" - when it gets boring? Ooh, god just called you a "weenie mortal pussy"! You gonna take that from him? Now he's clucking like a chicken!

Kick.

His.

Ass!


Play God!


Smite the crap out of everything you've created Old Testament-Style in Wrath II!


And then go nuts - just go fucking Joe Pesci nuts! - becoming the Dark Destroyer of prophecy and wiping it all out in Wrath Overkill! (Don't worry, you're God: You can create a new world, maybe ruled by talking plants with wings - and then destroy that, one too!)

Both coming soon to a sidebar near you...