Directory: Miracle Whip

5 Fast!

Flame-Retarded

In Hot Chocolate over Remarks, Nagin Offers Mea Culpa

Top 10 List: Reasons Mary Can't Stop Blubbering

Giving Old Men...Strokes: That's What Passes for 'God's Wrath'?! Lamest! Deity! Ever! Next Week: God Gives Cat Hairball!

Save Your Prayers for That New Bike

• Abracadeus! [Note to Self: Set TiVo]


• After Years of Praying to 'Main God' Didn't Work, Man Hits Miracle Lotto Jackpot with 'Newman'!


• Atheists & Baptists Agree: Speaking-in-Tongues = Superstitious Nonsense


• Bipolar Miracles: 1] Of Course She Isn't, 2] Miracle Whip [Madonna of Civitavecchia], 3] Virgins Love Chicago, 4] Wah! Wah! Wah!, and 5] Top 10 List: Reasons Mary Can't Stop Blubbering


• Debunkalicious: 1] Shroud of Turin: Just a Dirty Old Rag?, 2] Save Your Prayers for That New Bike, 3] Checking ID at the Door, 4] The Sky Is Falling!, Predicts Pat - Don't Be Silly, Says Science, 5] Of Course She Isn't, 6] *Rubs Eyes* Catholics Admit Bible Isn't Entirely True & Then Condemn Fundamentalist Christians! *Pinches Self*, 7] Miracle Whip, 8] Florida GOP Fell for Magic Potion Hoax, 9] Hearing This News, Jesus & Lazarus Suddenly Eye at Each Other with Suspicion: 'Exactly How Dead Were You, Anyway?', 10] Breaking News: God...Is a Dick?!, 11] Abracadeus! [Note to Self: Set TiVo], and 12a] Put Your Money Where Your Myth Is: Judge Orders Priest To Prove Jesus! / 12b] There Goes My Hero...


• Enviromiracle: 1] Jesus Appears in a Tree! Only from a Distance at the Right Angle in the Right Light! Once! It's, um, a Miracle?, 2] Remember When Miracles Walked on Water & Raised the Dead? (Sigh) Those Were the Days..., 3] I Wonder If the 'Ants' Looked Exactly Like a Brazilian TV Crew?, 4] Jesus Caught Napping in Tree!, 5] Florida GOP Fell for Magic Potion Hoax, and 6] Jesus Christ, Pothead (P.S. When I See a Cloud That Looks Like an Elephant, I Don't Feed It Peanuts!)


• Fatty Foods Like Kryptonite to God! Faith Healer Commits Miracucide! Again! Patient Likely Dies Trying To Finish Saying Name of Church!


• Florida GOP Fell for Magic Potion Hoax


• Giggling Ghost Girls? Spooky Bibles? Yes, Say Soldiers in New Orleans


• Hearing This News, Jesus & Lazarus Suddenly Eye at Each Other with Suspicion: 'Exactly How Dead Were You, Anyway?'


• Hold That Thought: Meditation Alters the Brain


• How Do You Spell 'Disaster' in Astrology? M-O-N-D-A-Y


• JuJu for Dummies: a] Acquire Corpse, 2] Remove Eyes & Tongue, 3] Animate


• Miracle Whip


• Miracles You Can Eat: 1] Church Newsletter [Bar Owner To Sell Christ on Scooped Oyster], 2] Mmmm...Virgin Mary..., 3] Jesus Christ! What a Yummy Dumpling!, 4] Pope Buttermilk IV, and 5] Preserved Remains of Mother Teresa Stolen! Possibly Eaten! With Coffee!


• My Big Fat Greek Smiting


• Piece of Pottery Proves Existence of Giants? Hmm...That Sounds an Awful Lot Like 'Intelligent De-Science' to Me


• Reincarnivores: 1a] 'I Now Pronounce You Boy & Rock' / 1b] Reincarnated-Goddess-Crossdressing-Boy-Bride-of-Statue Suffers Post-Nuptual Depression, 2] This Man Is: A] Crossdressing, Poorly B] A Reincarnated Goddess C] Nuttier Than a Tom Cruise Cashew Factory D] 'Dad?' E] A & C, and 3a] Shiftless, Skinny, Feces-Puddling Teen = Wise, Fat, Maggot-Puddling Corpse / 3b] I Thought 'Probing Boys' Was a Catholic Tradition


• Religious Prophet or Raving Lunatic? Messiahs for Dummies


• Save Your Prayers for That New Bike


• Shadow Puppetry of the Jesus Shut Down


• Survey Says: 1] Hurricanes Are God's Wrath, Say Stupid & Poor and 2] The Almighty God Dollar


• Symptoms: Hears Voices, God Complex, Prone to Violence, Delusional, Sociopath, 'Can Do No Wrong,' Poor Grammar, Denial, Possibly Retarded...


• Virgin Mary = Virgin Mobile = Attention Whore? (Nice Legs, btw)


• Walk on Water - Just Like a Messiah!


• Wash Off That Filthy Miracle: 1a] Shroud of Turin: Just a Dirty Old Rag? / 1b] Miracle Whip [Shroud of Turin], 2] Christians Worship Stain?, 3] Toilet Stain = Sign from God?, 4a] St. Thixotrop: Patron Saint of Menstruating Hemeophiliacs? / 4b] Miracle Whip [Miracle of San Gennaro], 5] St. Gibmeahraag: Patron Saint of Erotic Body Oils?, 6] 'Wash Me', 7a] 'Oh My God! Sh-She Menstruated on Kenny!' 'You Bitch!' / 7b] The Pope: 'A Chick Bleeding Out Her Vagina Is No Miracle', and 8] Flame-Retarded


• What If Cujo...Was a Goat? From Hell?


• What the Hell Is That?!


• Wrath of God: 1] He's Got a Sick Sense of Humor, 2] Church Newsletter [Preacher Dies During Sermon], 3] Unbelievable, 3] Holy Irony, Batman!, 4] Fred Phelps: Satan's Favorite Christian, 5] Religion Is Evil, Exhibit A, 6] Hurricanes Are God's Wrath, Say Stupid & Poor, 7] Is 'Faggyass' in the Bible? (Sigh) I Wouldn't Be Surprised..., 8] GOP Senator: 'The Wages of Sin Is Death', 9] God Kills 11, 10] The Sky Is Falling!, Predicts Pat - Don't Be Silly, Says Science, 11] O Almighty Sonuvabitch, 12] 9 out of 10! So Close! Dammit!, 13] Pat Tells Dover Voters: Expect Destruction, 14] My Big Fat Greek Smiting, 15b] Giving Old Men...Strokes: That's What Passes for 'God's Wrath'?! Lamest! Deity! Ever! Next Week: God Gives Cat Hairball! / 15b] Here's an Idea: Just Stop Being God's Ghoul, and 16a The Ghosts & Mr. Mayor - NOLA Chief Talks to God & Dr. King About Chocolate Cities, Iraq & The Damn Blacks / 16b] In Hot Chocolate over Remarks, Nagin Offers Mea Culpa