12.21.2005

So? Everyone Knows Jesus Liked Hookers...Do the Math


'Blessed are the D of cup, for theirs is the secret of Victoria. Blessed are they who jiggle, for they will be jiggled. Blessed are the Double-D, for they will inherit my hands. Blessed are they who hunger and yearn for silicon, for they will be satisfied. Blessed are the strippers, for they will be slipped dollars. Blessed are the free of bra, for they have freed gods. Blessed are the streetwalkers, for they will be called to my hotel room at 4 in the morning and asked to bring a few friends and some cocaine. Blessed are they who are enhanced in the name of bodaciousness, for theirs in the mansion of Hefner. Blessed are...' [Hef 5:3-9]

Stolen Church Money Used for Breast Implants

from The Associated Press

MEDIA, Pa. - Instead of feeding children in third-world countries and fixing the leaky roof, a woman used money from First Church of Lansdowne collection plates to buy a shore home and breast implants.

"I was very dishonest and selfish," Colleen Lacombe, 34, of Drexel Hill, told Judge Robert C. Wright tearfully.

Lacombe pleaded guilty in September to theft by deception, and made full restitution of $325,000 to the church. Wright sentenced the mother of two to two years of house arrest Tuesday, followed by two years of probation.

"I have been humiliated and very humbled," Lacombe said. She said she was grateful to family members who refinanced their homes to enable her to make restitution.

"I wish I could turn back the clock," she said, adding that what she "thought was important in life, wasn't." Turning to church members filling three rows in the courtroom, she said, "I hope you can forgive me someday."

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