Why Not Just Burn the Christians, Dumbass?!

California Man Sets Himself, American Flag, Christmas Tree on Fire to Protest Religious Names

from The Associated Press

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — A man used flammable liquid to light himself on fire, apparently to protest a San Joaquin Valley school district's decision to change the names of winter and spring breaks to Christmas and Easter vacation.

The man, who was not immediately identified, on Friday also set fire to a Christmas tree, an American flag and a revolutionary flag replica, said Fire Captain Garth Milam.

Seeing the flames, Sheriff's Deputy Lance Ferguson grabbed a fire extinguisher and ran to the man.

Flames were devouring a Christmas tree next to the Liberty Bell, where public events and demonstrations are common.

Beside the tree the man stood with an American flag draped around his shoulders and a red gas can over his head.

Seeing the deputy, the man poured the liquid over his head. He quickly burst into flames when the fumes from the gas met the flames from the tree.

The deputy ordered the man to drop to the ground as he and a parole agent sprayed him with fire extinguishers.

"The man stood there like this," the deputy said with his arms across his chest and his head bent down, "Saying no, no, no."

The man suffered first degree burns on his shoulders and arms, Milam said.

Kern County Sheriff's Deputy John Leyendecker said the man had a sign that read: "Fuck the religious establishment and KHSD."

On Thursday, the Kern High School Board of Trustees voted to use the names Christmas and Easter instead of winter and spring breaks.

Buddha-2: Slippery L'il Mutherfucker!

'Buddha' Boy Meditating at New Venue

from Phayul

Kantipur BARA, Dec 27 - "Buddha" boy, Ram Bahadur Bomjan, who was found on Monday after disappearing for 10 months, resumed meditation at a new site at Halkhorea pond, Tuesday.

Bomjan reached the area, some eight kilometers away from Baghjhor - where he was discovered by a group of hunters on Monday night - after covering the distance on foot for three hours.

As per his "new announcement" on Monday, he started meditating under the historic five hundred-year-old tree near the pond.

"He's now begun meditating in the same posture like in the past," informed chairman of Namo Buddha Committee Bed Bahadur Lama.

Following these developments, locals have been continuing to turn up in huge numbers for a glimpse of the meditating teenager.

Popes Crack! Me! Update: New & Improved Edition

Now with 30% Less Drooling!

(P.S.: The picture is the link.)

(Shhshh! Here He Comes!)

Vatican Employees Unable To Relax at Holiday Party with Pope Around

from The Onion

VATICAN CITY - According to various cardinals and nuns attending the Vatican's holiday party last night, festivities were made awkward by the unexpected appearance of Pope Benedict XVI.

"[Prefect Emeritus] Bernardin [Gantin] was about to bust out his St. Bridget impression, which is just spot on, but then the pope walked over and we quickly changed the subject to the sacred presence of the Holy Spirit during transubstantiation," said a cardinal speaking on the condition of anonymity, adding that Pope Benedict's "way too formal" attire made everyone feel even more ill at ease. "He said he didn't want to talk about work, but guess who was the first one to make a segue from our favorite local restaurants to the Bangorian Controversy with the Church Of England?"

Several Vatican employees recalled "the good old days" when Pope John Paul II turned a blind eye to their attempts to get the secretaries drunk playing "Never Have I Ever."