Guess Who Just Jumped to the Top of the Impaling List?

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Tales from the Dark Side

from Wonkette

We're proud to bring you yet another installment in our continuing coverage of Minnesota's next governor, Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey. Today's tale, not surprisingly, leans toward the dark side.

See, the problem with becoming famous is people start trying to tear you down. Mo money, mo problems. Especially when you're a witch. And unfortunately that's what has happened to Sharkey's wife, Julie Carpenter. She's been a school bus driver for several years and when word got around about her religious beliefs, the school system promptly fired her:

Carpenter says she never had a problem with her job until last week, when she mentioned being a witch. She says her employer said she was a great driver. Carpenter had been driving a bus for five years.

Nonetheless, we have to wonder about Carpenter’s namesake. For someone committed to the dark arts, isn't it just a bit odd to retain a surname matching the employment path of a certain religious figure prior to his career as a prophet?

At any rate, she can always fall back on her gig as Sharkey’s personal "blood donor."

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Where does a vampire witch and priestess of Satan with a taste for torture and who might one day be First Lady work? Wherever she wants.