God Smites Christians
Christians Say, 'Thanks!'
God Mutters, 'Dumbasses!'

God Fires Warning Shot

from Sploid

Despite studies that prove God's contempt for prayer, people insist on dropping to their knees. When he isn't too busy with other things, the Lord isn't above striking down those that pray.

Clara Jean Brown had been left home alone this past weekend when a powerful storm rolled over her Daphne, Alabama home. Her husband had gone to the store, her son and his family were at the beach.

Unable to do anything useful for her family, Brown decided to say a prayer for their safe return.

"I said, 'Amen,' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire," she said. "I was just standing there when a huge ball of fire engulfed this whole room. I don't remember much after that."

Brown passed out on the floor among exploded chunks of concrete. That's where her 14-year-old granddaughter found her upon coming home from the beach.

Fire officials told James Brown, Clara's husband, that the bolt appeared to have come from across the street and in through a waterline. The bolt tore up the kitchen floor - ruining the brownies on the stove top - and continued to the backyard where it ripped up a small trench.

Even though the Lord nearly killed her by his own hand, Brown didn't seem to get the message.

"I'm blessed. That's the good news," she said.

Claremont Church Burns Down; Firefighter Injured

from The Associated Press

CLAREMONT, Minn. - A fire that started with a lightning bolt destroyed a church in this small town Tuesday, and a firefighter who battled the blaze was seriously injured.

Around 2 a.m., fire crews from several towns responded to a call that St. John's Lutheran Church was on fire.

Pastor Keith Meyer, who placed the call, said he saw the steeple set ablaze by a lightning strike during a thunder storm. "I watched it the whole time. It was fully engulfed in less than an hour," he said.

Claremont firefighter Gale Spatenka, while trying to save some stained glass windows, was injured after a wall on the south side of the church collapsed on him. He was taken by helicopter to St. Marys Hospital in Rochester, where he remained in critical condition Tuesday night.

The state Fire Marshal's office confirmed the cause of the fire was a lightning strike.

"I can't believe it," said Claremont resident Rhonda Johnson, a member of the church for 43 years. "We're just devastated, but I'm very optimistic about rebuilding."

Regardless of the size of the loss, Meyer said, "We plan to rebuild. We're staying here."


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