5.23.2006

Look! It's Santa Cl-Oh, Sorry...Jesus
...As Dead Asparagus
...Sticking His Tongue Out
(What a Jerk)

Jesus of Asparagus

from Sploid

An English gardner tending to his asparagus has dug up the head of his Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. It appears that He's sticking his tongue out.

Martin Gregory,52, was enjoying a Sunday afternoon in his garden. Deciding that his ten-year-old asparagus plant was dead, he pulled it from its pot.

"I dug out the plant and put it on the side but, when I looked at it again, I could see a face staring straight back at me," Gregory said.

"I could make out the eyes and nose and even a thorn crown that had been formed out of the plant's roots."

"My neighbour said it looked just like Jesus."

From the beard to the crown of thorns to the playfully wagging tongue, there's no getting around it. It is surely the face of Jesus.

"I've heard about Mother Theresa's face being seen in a bagel but I thought this was much better."

But the part-time mosaic tutor is trying to keep a level head about the whole affair.

"It has not made me religious. But it could be something supernatural linked to the abbey ruins [across the way]. We don't know what's in the ground."

While Gregory may not been running off to church, he's smart enough not to throw Jesus' head away.

Father David Sherratt, of St Michael and All Angels Church thinks Gregory needs to embrace this blessing.

"I have often heard of people seeing things. God may want Mr Gregory to interpret what he saw in the plant as a sign."

2 Comments:

Blogger Stardust said...

Funny how people know what Jeebus looked like having never seen the real one. Is it ok if I use this in my "culinary iconography" series?

May 27, 2006 5:43 PM  
Blogger gnome said...

Jesus actually looked like Mario (of the Donkey Kong era), but was quite 3d.

June 01, 2006 6:00 PM  

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