'Jesus? Hmm...Who Does He Play For Again?'

In a sad and desperate attempt to appeal to increasingly vapid and meatheaded British teens, this week Jesus announced his intention to join Manchester United football team this spring, release an album of insipid boy-band songs so loved by Eurotrash, and 'marry something called a Spice Girl.' Loser.

Money & Fame More Important Than Anything, Say British Youngsters

from AFP

LONDON - Becoming rich and famous is the most important thing in life, a revealing survey of British children said, also showing that the nation's youngsters consider footballer Wayne Rooney more famous than Jesus.

The survey of 2,500 under-10s to mark National Kids' Day asked children to rate what they considered "the best thing in the world", with becoming rich taking top spot. Being famous came second, above the more traditional pursuits of football, pop music and animals.

In findings that should perhaps have some British parents examining their lifestyles, a corresponding list of the worst things in the world had "drunk people" at the top, followed by smoking.

When asked to name the world's most famous person, young Manchester United and England star Rooney not only beat Jesus to take second place, he also pushed his national team captain, David Beckham, into fourth. It was left to God to restore some Christian pride, taking top spot:

1. God
2. Wayne Rooney
3. Jesus
4. David Beckham
5. The Queen
6. Harry Potter
7. Beyonce
8. Father Christmas
9. Robbie Williams
10. Simon Cowell