5.10.2006

Swingset of Satan

Demonic Playground Gets an Exorcism

from Sploid

A lone religious nut's complaints were enough to ruin the fancy new playground in Springfield, Illinois.

The local nut, Leland Rhodes, noticed a frightening symbol in the concrete: a pentagram.

The $450,000 Washington Park playground only opened in September.

The Springfield Parks Foundation raised over $400,000 from local groups and businesses to design and construct the two-acre playground for the kids, and the town rejoiced when the new park opened on September 15.

There's even a small amphitheater - and that's where Mr. Rhodes found his devil.

The amphitheater's circular stage was designed to have a spoked wheel pattern on the stage. While pouring the cement, however, mistakes were made that rendered landscape architect Kent Massie's original plan impossible.

So Massie and the crew decided to go with a simple five-pointed star, like the ones millions of people doodle everyday - like the one that creates the Pentagon.

Foundation president Cathy Schwartz was among those who witnessed the star's creation.

"There were probably 10 guys up there helping to pour the concrete. None of us made the connection (to the occult). To us it's a star, but to others, it's not," Schwartz told the Springfield Journal-Register.

Actually, just to Rhodes. He was the only one who made a formal complainet.

"There is a certain breed of individual out there who reveres such symbols, and in that context, it becomes a religious icon. In this day and age of general concern for children's welfare, especially in regard to predators, my main concern was for the crowd that it might draw," Rhodes said.

Rhodes couldn't take the chance this local treasure would become the preferred playground for devil-worshippers and demonic predators, who are apparently all over Springfield just waiting for an accidental pentagram to appear. He called park officials.

"My children love that park. We consider it a valuable asset to the community," Rhodes said. "I commend them for making the change. I know it was a great burden."

Beyond Rhodes' superstitions, the only "evidence" anyone else cared about the accidental shape was "some candles" found in the park. From a birthday cake? A memorial to local soldiers killed in Iraq? Nobody knows. So it had to be the Satanists, who apparently love candles the way Catholics love...candles.

"At that point, we decided we couldn't leave it the way it is," Schwartz said.

Amazingly, the playground's builders have agreed to amend the design to resemble a pinwheel. The godly work will be done without charge to the city.

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