4.22.2006

Ooh! I Have a Suggestion! How About Pope...

Wait, What's Latin for 'Jackass'?

Pope Benedict Asks If It's Too Late To Change Name


from The Onion

VATICAN CITY — Only a year after ascending to the papacy, Pope Benedict XVI is appealing the College of Cardinals for a name change.

"Benedict is serviceable enough, but I did not consider the ease of it being shortened to 'Ben' by impudent dignitaries such as Bono, nor did I foresee the difficulties it would pose whenever I ordered eggs," the former Cardinal Ratzinger said Monday. "I obviously wouldn't go with John Paul or Pius. Boniface is a non-starter, but there is precedent for a Pope Lando, Corwin, or Marcellus."

The pope admitted that when he chose his papal name he was mostly concerned with avoiding the nickname "Nazinger."

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