12.08.2005

Exactly! Where Are My Gills & Wings & Extra Arms? No Nightvision? Why Do Turtles Outlive Me? 'Intelligent' Design, My Ass! And About My Ass...

Incompetent Design

from Daily Kos

I love the theory of Incompetent Design:

Don Wise, professor emeritus of geosciences at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, is the nation's foremost proponent of ID. No, Wise isn't getting ready to testify on behalf of the school board in Dover, PA. Rather, he advocates for a different version of the acronym: "incompetent design."

Wise cites serious flaws in the systems of the human body as evidence that design in the universe exhibits not an obvious source of, but a sore lack of, intelligence...

The thing that perhaps is closest to all of us is our own skeleton, and there are certainly all kinds of stupidity in our design. No self-respecting engineering student would make the kinds of dumb mistakes that are built into us.

All of our pelvises slope forward for convenient knuckle-dragging, like all the other great apes. And the only reason you stand erect is because of this incredible sharp bend at the base of your spine, which is either evolution's way of modifying something or else it's just a design that would flunk a first-year engineering student.

Look at the teeth in your mouth. Basically, most of us have too many teeth for the size of our mouth. Well, is this evolution flattening a mammalian muzzle and jamming it into a face or is it a design that couldn't count accurately above 20?

Look at the bones in your face. They're the same as the other mammals' but they're just squashed and contorted by jamming the jaw into a face with your brain expanding over it, so the potential drainage system in there is so convoluted that no plumber would admit to having done it!

So is this evolution or is this plain stupid design?



Jesus Christ, just look at us! We have our organs tucked under a thin layer of skin like the gas tank on a Pinto stationwagon! One slip of the melon-baller and, plop, our entrails are pouring into our laps. Ear hair, naval lint, gas, we die of the fucking flu, our limbs bend only in one direction and don't grow back once severed, eyes only in the front, and sneezing! What's with the fucking sneezing?! No. Humanity is, like, a C - C+ tops - in cosmic Shop Class. I do better work in Legos. Yeah, thanks for the mucous, single heart, wisdom teeth, weak eyes, appendix, bad back, and that stupid little road between our nose and upper lip. Great job, 'O Almighty One.' And don't get me started on the platypus, the sea cow, millipede (can you say "overkill"?), snails, or those poor moths that emerge from their cocoons without mouths and live only long enough to starve to death. Bravo! C-

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