I Love Hate the 80s!

Due to a modem malfunction, I've been exiled to the '80s-wasteland of dial-up! Can you imagine? Using the phone to connect to the Internet? It's so fucking Flintstone.

And I just discovered I can't fit in the oven! None of my guns are loaded! And the closest thing I have to poison is some Yoplait that expired two weeks ago! (It just made me, um, splatter a few hours later.)

Alcohol is my only solace. Again.

If my bloggings are sparce over the next few days - which is about how long it will take each to actually post - it's because I'm drunk on dial-up, probably wearing leg warmers and kissing to be clever. Ugh!

Maybe it would be quicker to snail mail my blog...


'Awww...does the big baby have to dial-up to the Internet? Does baby want his ba-ba? Did he make a poopie?' Fucking Hal Sparks!