Hmph! So the Devil Is Green! Who Knew?

Green Devil Hunts Kids

from Sploid

The horrible devil monster carries a pitchfork and has been terrorizing kids at a school in Namibia.

Since July 8, the "mysterious and extremely sinister" figure has been bedeviling students at the Mumbwenge Combined School.

Lately, it has gotten worse. The kids scream madly when they see the figure, and then they pass out. When they regain conciousness, they all describe being tortured by a green devil who ties them down with a rope and sticks them with his pitchfork.

The hysterical schoolteachers have called in the local Christian priests, but the power of Jesus has yet to have any effect on the vicious goblin. The newspaper New Era reports:

Prayers from local church leaders are not helpful and appears to make the "beast" furious and powerful according to the principal.

"We called in pastors from Elcin Church, they came four times to our school to pray, and after that the situation has been growing and the number of children attacked by this beast has increased.

"After that, we contacted the Universal Church in Oluno, they were here on Saturday, but the situation is still on."

Yesterday, Jesus Centre in Ondangwa was called in for prayer.

"They prayed and prayed and after the prayer, the children started shouting again, but some of them collapsed and they are lying on the ground as we speak. But we are more worried about those we sent home when the thing started - what might happen to them on their way home.

"What we are seeing here is children collapsing and shouting, 'Satan you are jealous of us we were sent here by our parents to study, why won't you leave us alone'," said a staggered Pastor Matthew Iyambo yesterday.

"According to my analysis, those who recovered say a human was tormenting them, pressing them down with a garden fork, kicking them. Some of them are praying, some swearing."