11.14.2005

'The View of Armageddon from Your New Loft is Simply Divine!'

Real Estate Boom: Armageddon Apartments?

from Wonkette

Recent reports that the New York area real estate market is finally cooling probably have a lot of worried investors looking to God, but only Pastor Theresa Garrison of the Church of the Rapture got an early direct line: "Garrison always says that God channels his wishes through her, and when He said, 'Sell,' it was near the peak of a commercial real estate boom on 14th Street."

The Washington Post has been reporting on the gentrification of the corner of 14th and T, and the sale of the 30-year-old church was a watershed moment in letting loose the flood of urban settlers.

At first - in a nod to the church's legacy - the luxury apartments were to be called "Rapture Lofts." Developers then thought about the target demo a little more closely. It will be called "T Street Flats." Garrison is pleased with the name change: "See, I found out that the rent is gonna be so high that only the rich homosexuals and lesbians will be able to buy this condominium."

And bad news for bargain hunters: In case of rapture, these lofts will remain occupied.


'Three bedrooms, two bath? Of course we do! Right this way...'

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