Hairless, Nubile Pre-Teen Boy with Soft Lips Not Included

The Man in the Merlot

from Defamer

The Rheins-Westlake Winery will serve no wine before its time. And when exactly is the correct time to sample their exclusive "Jesus Juice" Merlot? Easy! Simply wait for the big hand to touch the little hand! (And to the anonymous author of that highly versatile, always funny joke: we salute you.)

Break a bottle of this stuff out at your next dinner party celebrating a close friend's molestation charges acquittal, kick back, and wait for the Sideways-inspired "I-am-NOT-drinking-any-fucking-blood-of-Michael-Jackson" jokes to fly!