March of the Conservative Evangelical Christian Penguins?

Onward March, Christian Penguin: Aww, aren't you adorable! "Burn in Hell, fag!" Sweet. You wait here while I go boil you some water.

CPAC of the South

from Wonkette

Today, the New York Times investigates the Christian conservatives' fifth column: Penguins. Turns out conservatives have become unlikely champions of the documentary March of the Penguins, saying, among other things, that the film promotes monogamy and family values. Clearly, no one has told them about the gay penguins (of course, they choose to be gay). Says one minister:

"Some of the circumstances they experienced seemed to parallel those of Christians," he said of the penguins. "The penguin is falling behind, is like some Christians falling behind. The path changes every year, yet they find their way, is like the Holy Spirit."

It seems like a stretch but, hey, it's an improvement over talking vegetables.

UPDATE: Several readers have called attention to penguin's not-so-socially-conservative serial monogamy. Also, fathers take off pretty early. Republicans soft on deadbeat penguins!