'I'm Too Drunk!'
'God Didn't Wake Me!'
'I Woke Up a Cockroach!'

'Rise and shine, lazybones! I've created a new day just for you! Wake up! Wake up, you drunk son of a bitch! Very well, sloth incarnate, I SMITE THEE!'

Bogus Work Excuses on the Rise: 'God Didn't Wake Me'

from Reuters

NEW YORK - Off-the-wall reasons for calling off sick are on the rise as U.S. workers are increasingly willing to blame everything from wet cement and snakes to ghosts and a higher power to get a day off from work, according to a survey released on Tuesday.

This year, 43 percent of U.S. workers called in sick when they felt fine, up from 35 percent that did so last year, the survey of 2,450 employees from CareerBuilder.com showed.

Reasons not to show up for work ranged from: "I was too drunk to drive to work" to "I forgot I was getting married today." One employee who did not believe in alarm clocks told the boss that "God didn't wake me."

The survey, which also polled 875 hiring managers, showed the most popular day to make up an excuse was Wednesday, while hiring managers said they were more suspicious of workers who called off sick on Mondays and Fridays. Nearly one-quarter of hiring managers surveyed said they had fired an employee for missing work without a legitimate reason.


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